When we were going through the homestudy process to be a licensed foster home, we had to answer the question, “Why do you want to be foster parents?” several times. It was on the initial application and it was one of the questions that a case worker asked in person to each of us during our interviews.
It’s one of the hardest questions for me to answer, because I don’t feel like I have a set reason, or a set moment in time when I knew I wanted to be a foster parent. Some days in the middle of the hard stuff of foster parent life, I ask myself…WHY are we doing this?!
My answer though, is always the same – He did this for me.
That may sound hokey or super spiritual to some, and if so, I’m sorry. That’s not my intent here. I think that’s why I struggled to write an answer on a foster parent application, because it feels holier than thou to say that, and most people aren’t going to understand it fully.
When I think back over my life, I think about what grace looks like for me; pressed down, shaken together, and running over. In light of that, I can’t imagine doing this life any other way except through hard obedience. When I was dead in my own sin, my own selfish choices, and my own dirtiness, He came looking for me (Romans 5:8). He left the 99 and came looking for the one, and that one was me (Luke 15:3-7). God sent His own Son to die for me, while I was still a sinner. When Jesus died for me, to be the once-for-all blood offering for my personal sins (and yours too) – He gave me the right to become a daughter of God (John 1:12).
He took me from my very lowest place – unworthy, unloved, and condemned to a sinner’s death, and He took my place, raised me to a new life in Christ, washed me clean, and gave me full inheritance and full standing as a daughter of God Most High.
What He’s done for me is more than I can even explain here. He changed my life. He calls me friend.
And, to whom much is given, much is required. (Luke 12:48)
He tells us several times in the bible to “take care of orphans and widows in their distress”. And yes, I know that foster kids are not orphans. All of the kids coming through my home have parents that they love. But they are still children in need of a safe place to stay, in need of love and compassion and someone to show up and fight for them. Jesus Himself modeled this for us when He was on earth. He spent His time with the broken, the dirty, the tax collectors and prostitutes and fishermen who were rough around the edges. He was drawn to the weak, the sick, and the marginalized. He had compassion on them.
If all of this sounds like I’m approaching foster care with some sort of Savior mentality, let me assure you I am not. The Lord uses foster care every single day to remind me that I’m not anyone’s savior here, I’m one of the broken people. I’m not better than any bio parent of any of our kids. If any of the small decisions in my life or circumstances beyond my control had been different, I could have been in the exact same place. In fact, one of my consistent worries is that I’m just triggering past trauma for my foster kids and that I’m not helping them as much as someone else could. I don’t have my life together any more than their bio parents do, and I don’t have the ability to “fix” any of the kids that come through these doors. That’s always only been Jesus.
What I can do, is what He’s asked me to do. To say yes to kids that sound like trouble. To say yes to being uncomfortable. To say yes to sharing my home and stretching my heart and laying awake worrying about another human being that I didn’t give birth to but that I get the privilege of sharing my life with.
Here’s why we said yes to foster care; He did this for us.
If you feel like He’s nudging your heart in this direction, don’t wait until your life is perfect. You will never be completely ready for foster care; it’s impossible to be prepared for everything that can or will happen. But if He’s calling you here, He will give you exactly what you need to keep going.