Have you ever had pride sneak up on you?
Most of the time when I think of pride, I think of a raging beast – those feelings of being better than someone else, or of being something so special that no one can touch you. I think about pride as being very obvious and easy to spot.
They say “pride goes before a fall”, right? If it comes before a fall, I would think it would be easy to see it coming.
But that’s not always how pride works.
Pride is sneaky. Like a tree root that just sticks out of the ground enough to catch the tip of your shoe. It may be barely noticeable, but it’s enough to trip you up and leave you face down in the dirt.
Sure, a lot of times, it looks like very obvious feelings of superiority or overinflated confidence in your own ability.
But, in my life, I’ve realized that there is a far more sinister side to pride. There’s a reason that it’s listed in the Bible as one of the most deadly sins; it is sneaky and it is pervasive.
For me, pride is there, lurking far below the surface, hidden so deep and disguised so well that it takes a lot of digging to reveal it for what it truly is, and a lot of hard work to bring it to the light and give it over to Jesus again and again.
Just this morning, I was confessing my pride from yesterday: [Lord, forgive me for thinking I’m better than anyone else, I’m here only because of Your grace and I’m only standing because You cover me with mercy, help me not to get in the way of what You are trying to do]. Before I got to the end of my little prayer, the thought popped into my head out of nowhere, “you are too full of your own pride to be used by Him. How would He ever accomplish anything with you out there in the world as His mouthpiece?” So I confessed that – Lord, get me out of the way so that You can move.
And do you know what He reminded me?
That He can use ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. He is not dependent on me having it all together (or having ANYTHING together, for that matter). He isn’t a God who calls perfect people because they are already doing great work, He calls imperfect people because He is able to work through them.
But, did you see my pride? It was sneaky so I’ll break it down for you…
Under the guise of confession, I admitted what was really buried down deep in my heart – that I was afraid if I was too full of pride, God wouldn’t be able to work, and He wouldn’t get the glory He deserves.
Which, really when you boil it down, is me believing that He is in some way dependent on me to get something done. How prideful of me.
Thankfully, He was quick to remind me that His goodness and His power don’t depend on me in any way at all whatsoever.
I wasn’t holding Him up, so there’s nothing I can do to let Him down.
He is God alone.
And even if I don’t do what He calls me to do, the very rocks will cry out His praises. He doesn’t need me at all. But thankfully, He still chooses to invite me to be part of what He wants to do.