I am so quick to call on the Lord when things get rough. Like the disciples when the boat is starting to take on water, I look up and yell, Lord! Help! He is faithful and comes to my rescue every single time.

But there are a lot of times when I don’t yell for help, when I take my eyes off of Jesus, and I decide I can do it all by myself. Things have been going really well here lately, and just this morning I had to repent for trying to do this life all on my own without Him. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, Satan is a sneaky guy. So often I’m looking for him to come at me as a guy with a pitchfork offering me illegal drugs or sex on a platter or something that I know is so obviously wrong.

And that’s part of the insidious way he gets me. Through cheap tricks and distractions, he convinces me that he’s not coming for me right now. “Things are safe and calm, there’s no spiritual warfare here, there’s no need to cry out for Jesus in the middle of the night while your knees hit the floor! You can handle this part on your own. Don’t bother with Jesus stuff right now, don’t wake up early to spend time with Him, just get that extra 5 minutes of sleep. Life is busy and God wants you rested, right?”

Before I know it, I’m feeling far from the Lord, unable to hear His voice. When I show up for my quiet time, it’s late and hurried and I’m going through the motions. Something feels off but I can’t pinpoint what.

Satan is chuckling in the corner, he doesn’t even have to put a lot of effort into this. I go off on my own willingly sometimes. Fear of rejection or ridicule can silence my joy in a heartbeat, and he knows that putting a teenager in my house will definitely introduce opinions that contradict and stifle my walk.

This is my own fault. I know already where I can go for victory. And this morning, even in the middle of what seems fine and calm, I whispered, “Lord! Help! I don’t want to do this on my own. I get this wrong more than I get it right. I need You. Every hour, I need you.”